I wrote this because we in creative writing were learning about parodies in a Humor unit taught by Sam Hamm. I think it is especially for those who know the geography of the West Portal area well. It is inspired by the neighborhood’s blandness and simplicity:

A (West Portal) Parody of the Romeo and Juliet Balcony Scene

O dearest Juliet is it you that comes wrapping down that Chase-bank stairwell: that runs off the wide Portola highway like snow off of a hill. Yes, that is what I thought when I once again found myself upon the metal rump outside Eezy Freezy, where I have rested many times and waited for my Juliet. Outside the Italian restaurant and outside the Church. Waiting, waiting: thinking of the train station and of Trains and Rails, drinking a cold rock-shandy, praying to God by the old Scottish Rite: waiting for my Juliet to come down that familiar Chase-bank stairwell. For when she does she’ll be standing by the Rite and I’ll be subsided into the banks of the forest. She will call my name like she has done many-times-before, and I, as I most-normally do, will calmly and affectionately say her’s: Juliet. That is what I will say. I will say how was the Chase-bank stairwell and the hot metal rump outside Eezy Freezy, and how do you think of the whiteness of the Rite in the hot sun. O for the trains are constantly passing through that area, sending large vibrations and stutters across the streets and fields and into the trees. And from some Boughs I’ll sing as in the good song: Their’s is a land of Hope and Glory, and mine is the Green fields and the Factory floors.

Liam Miyar-Mullan, class of 2018