if you think this is about you, it probably is

by Shanna (’13)

i didn’t eat for 3 days and 3
stupid
boys
told me i looked skinny enough
to toss in a bed
and i broke 3 nails
punching them out

you’re scared of me because i
curse like it’s my first language and
i act like i’m 6’2
even though i don’t wear
high heels cause they
make me feel inferior
to you
and your dirty sneakers

i’m good at telling the truth
like
my english teacher won’t know
what the fuck to do with my poetry
cause it’s gnarly, messy
unrhymed and i probably mention
something inappropriate
like that time you
told me you think about me naked
when you close your eyes
in the shower

when you try to kiss me i’ll probably
ask you if i look like your ex
i’m good at that
awkward small talk
bumping hands like
my limbs are
little accidents

i understand if you wanna pick
another blonde
with longer legs and bluer eyes
with a cleaner mouth, better breath
i’m a little used
and i still have scars
and discolorations
up and down my
body
from the bites
and brush strokes
of everyone
before you
who told me
i was perfect
till i wasn’t

i have a problem
with the way you
make eye contact
like it’s delicate
instinctive
and i hate the way you
get so close to my face
like you’re trying to find
out what i had for lunch
like you’re trying to
crawl into my mouth
again

i wrote your name on my notebooks
and the insides of my fingers
the kind of ink that smears when you lick it
the kind that gets on your neck
when i pull you forward
yanking out your molars
with my tongue
and i don’t want to be around me
when i’m in a bad mood
either

there are parts of
my body
you’ll only see in
a textbook
and i’m sorry for
all the creepy glances
at the bus stop
but i don’t like handshakes
and i don’t want your hugs

i didn’t eat for 3 days
and you told me i
was just your type

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s