by Molly (’15)
As all of you have no doubt heard, Abigail has stepped down from her duties as Closet Queen. I, as her successor, would like to thank the public for electing me to this vital role in Creative Writing society.
Those of you who are familiar with Closet Queen duties know how highly sought-after this position is. It is an indescribable pleasure to scurry across the hallways, providing utensils for people’s birthdays. The joy I get from opening the door to the Creative Writing closet down the hallway with my very own key is worth the incredible responsibilities this job brings. I know that if I were to ever lose the key, my pride and sense of worth would be lost right with it; therefore, to be extra careful with the public’s trust in my abilities, I keep the keys in a locked box in another locked box in a locker, which is fortified on both the inside and the outside with stainless steel.
I assure you all that I will meet my duties with as much care as Abigail did. Although we will all miss sending her off to retrieve the cake knives and ice-cream spoons, her time as Closet Queen has come to an end, as all things do. As a junior, she was much too old for the job, which is better-suited for a wry and supple sophomore such as me. Although my time in office will also come to an end eventually, I am looking forward to a long and eventful career as Creative Writing’s loyal Closet Queen, and once again thank you all for selecting me.