Before I joined creative writing, I was in zero active group chats. Now, I’m in two. This number may seem small to those of you group-chat-jugglers, but for an introvert who dislikes a lot of people and doesn’t know what to say to anyone, this is a miracle.

My two group chats are “Wiggly Worms,” which is the freshman-sophomore group chat, and “CW SOTA 29’,” which is what it sounds like. Wiggly Worms started in the summer, and I remember how adamant I was that I was going to silently lurk in the chat and not otherwise contribute to the conversations. I didn’t understand most of what was happening, anyway. (And these two statements basically sum up my entire personality). So imagine my surprise when my plan doesn’t work, and in fact I begin to have 11 pm poem share-outs with people I’ve never met. What is this sorcery?

Nowadays, while I am not the most active person on the group chats, I don’t hesitate to text whatever comes to mind, usually pictures of weird things that remind me of my friends or disgruntled responses to bad pictures of me that were taken without my permission. (And this paragraph basically sums up how much I’ve changed since I’ve joined creative writing). The things that used to terrify me about people don’t scare me anymore, at least not when I’m at school. The weird things about me that I tried to hide are now the things I display prominently to my friends, and they’re fine with it (mostly). I love the confidence that’s arisen from knowing that I have people who know exactly how weird I am, how easily I get scared, how little I know about pop culture, how bad I am at peopling, and knowing they’ll tolerate me anyway. This is the kind of security little Kavi wished for every night, and now I have it, and I can tell how much I needed it. I’m so grateful for my department.

There will be times where I’ll be living my cool new life and I’ll be struck with how happy little Kavi would be if they could see the things I now consider normal, like the way I walk home with random things on my arm (mostly 67 because Tanner is monster), or how I have 6 books in my locker because people (Aubrey) are lending me things they know I’ll like faster than I can read them, or the fact that I have a locker now, or the fact that I’ve been brainwashed by MLA format, or the fact that I know my people well enough to feel perfectly comfortable sleeping on their shoulder while we watch a movie in creative writing (well, I guess that’s not accurate. I’m usually the pillow, for reasons I still don’t understand). These are the things I’ve wanted since I stumbled across the blog I’m writing for now, and I still can’t believe that I get to be the person on the other side of the computer.

Since little Kavi used to read this blog like it was religion, I’d like to think they’d read my post if they could. So, little Kavi, I want you to know this: It’s going to be okay. You’re going to find your people, and it’s going to feel like everything you didn’t let yourself hope it would be.